Call it by name
For what my God's begun
Will be done, in Jesus' name
... I will not
... I will not
be the same
I have a memory that is the reason "golden leaves" has a mysterious and hopeful place in my heart. I have two other mysterious memories that when combined altogether, encourage me to write "Golden Leaves" posts.
All three involve places... the first a forest, the second a bar, the third a living room... and what came to be for me - prophetic words received - the first place was by the Holy Spirit - in the territorial place inside me I didn't have the blueprint on yet - to the degree that it was presented and coming. The other two - were spoken by people I'd never met before. I didn't realize in the moments how deeply the experiences were being planted in me as they came and spoke mystery and hope both at the same time and then seemed to be forgotten except they were far from that.
"Golden Leaves" posts are about a place too... and about people.
The place is the territory within one's heart and soul and depth of being that belongs to God... the place his Spirit dwells and from where we hear his voice... and the people the words are for - I do not know - except to say I know they too will be on a journey - and words spoken here - as they were for me in my memories shared - will - right where that territory exists - spark mystery that instead of bringing any darkness - will light up the place where God lives in the heart of those who open up to him - and flood you with hope.
Starting w/ the last story first... I'd been to a bachelorette party of sorts and after eating out we returned to the bride-to-be's apartment. I knew some of the people and a few I didn't. One of those few is who I sat next to at the restaurant and our conversation was easy and from what I remember - went below the surface to some degree. What I do remember is what she said to me when the nite was over which was encouragement that God doesn't allow scars in us to go unused. That they become for others a trust factor because a journey without an endured battled lacks light for another seeker on a similar path.
The middle - it's my favorite b/c of how it spoke so deeply to that territory inside me I've come to know better than I knew it in this moment. I was married at the time to my first husband and we'd gone to celebrate a friend's birthday. We were at a bar that for some reason I remember more as a country bar - but what I'm sure of is everyone was singing the songs that were playing - our group was at a long table and I sat next to a girl I'd never met... but! without any below surface conversation - at some point in the night - she asked me if I believed in Jesus. (Cue that territory lighting up inside of me.) I told her yes and she said, and I've not forgotten, "You're the reason I'm out tonight." And she continued telling me to not be ashamed of where I've walked - God is going to use it for good.
Ok my - I didn't realize how much this one instant was teaching me about the territory that belongs to God inside those who call on him. But even sharing the story now - I can see it, after 10 years of journeying - (b/c that story was Aug of '13) have I been able to look back or compile experiences where I can firmly see my faith blooming to a place of knowing and accepting God lives and is ever so faithful to our human souls.
My little girl - well she's 8 now! - has a verse they learn each week in school - last nite we were reading before bed and I read the verse out of her actual Bible - Psalm 138:3 - and she then wanted to read all of Psalm 138 - what a beautiful Psalm! Sharing it here and of course a song - that so too lights up the territory of God in me that he is ever and always so gently trying to woo me to release all of myself to him - to trust him.
I give you thanks, O Lord, with all my heart; I will sing your praises before the gods. I bow before your holy Temple as I worship. I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness; for your promises are backed by all the honor of your name. As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength. Every king in all the earth will thank you, Lord, for all of them will hear your words. Yes, they will sing about the Lord 's ways, for the glory of the Lord is very great.
Though the Lord is great, he cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud. Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will protect me from the anger of my enemies. You reach out your hand, and the power of your right hand saves me. The Lord will work out his plans for my life- for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me. Psalm 138
I didn't forget about my first place, the forest. But instead of sharing the actual story - I'm gonna share what the meaning of the story is which is... presence. Presence: defined is the state or act of existing. God is present - and so too are we - and inside of each of us exists that territory where one presence unites from these two. A mysterious, merciful place because of the vastness and holiness of God and a place beyond all imagination and hope to the soul of a sojourner.